---
title: I Just Believe in Christmas
description: The origin of Sarth Calhoun’s Christmas song, sung by Michael Patrick Flanagan Smith, with words finished by Jesse Schoen, Virginia Piazza and Doron Lev. Lyrics and links.
url: https://www.sarth.net/conspiracies/i-just-believe-in-christmas/
published: 2026-09-22
facet: dream
credit: Released December 2015 as Catfish Calhoun and Friends: a collaboration between Sarth Calhoun, Michael Patrick Flanagan Smith, Jesse Schoen, Doron Lev, Virginia Piazza and Dominic Bouffard. Mike, lead vocals. Sarth, piano. Doron, drums. Dom, guitars. Virginia, backing vocals. Jacob McCoy, bass. Phil Weinrobe, banjo. Dan Richman, mandolin. Tony Diodore and Sarah Alden, violin. Scott Hampton, ukulele. Exaltron, trumpet. And everybody sang backing vocals. Recorded by Phil Weinrobe at Figure 8 Studios. Mixed by Marc Urselli. Mastered by Fred Kevorkian.
author: Sarth Calhoun
---
[Transmissions](/transmissions/) / I Just Believe in Christmas

Transmission · Dream

# I Just Believe in Christmas

It started as an argument with my neighbors about squirrels in the attic.

## The squirrels

On Christmas Eve of 2014, I had a good-natured email exchange with my next-door neighbors here in Brooklyn. It was a discussion about unwanted squirrels in our attics. These row houses are attached, so it can be hard to get to the root of the problem.

I pointed out "Hey, it’s Christmas Eve. Maybe we should take this up another time." They responded by apologizing for offending my "sense of faith" then went on to mention something about #scaringthechildren. I ended the conversation by saying "I’m not religious, I just believe in Christmas."

And then realized that is a song.

## Who made it

Immediately I thought it should be sung by Michael Patrick Flanagan Smith. To finish the words I enlisted the help of some of my favorite creative people: Jesse Schoen, Virginia Piazza, and Doron Lev.

In August of 2015 we all went in to the studio, along with a motley assortment of NYC instrumentalists, plus my good friend [Dominic Bouffard](/conspirators/dominic-bouffard/) who was visiting from London. It came out that December.

[Embedded player](https://www.youtube.com/embed/dXqYHjmmev0)

The credits: Released December 2015 as Catfish Calhoun and Friends: a collaboration between Sarth Calhoun, Michael Patrick Flanagan Smith, Jesse Schoen, Doron Lev, Virginia Piazza and Dominic Bouffard. Mike, lead vocals. Sarth, piano. Doron, drums. Dom, guitars. Virginia, backing vocals. Jacob McCoy, bass. Phil Weinrobe, banjo. Dan Richman, mandolin. Tony Diodore and Sarah Alden, violin. Scott Hampton, ukulele. Exaltron, trumpet. And everybody sang backing vocals. Recorded by Phil Weinrobe at Figure 8 Studios. Mixed by Marc Urselli. Mastered by Fred Kevorkian.

[Bandcamp](https://sarth.bandcamp.com/track/i-just-believe-in-christmas) · [Lyric video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXqYHjmmev0) · [Flanagan Smith acoustic demo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-u7Zmd6GSw) · [Alternate version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oPZjuz1vwQ)

## Lyrics

```
I'm not religious
I just believe in Christmas

When I was a boy
and Santa brought me toys
Daddy read me bible stories on Christmas Eve
I remember not a word
a toy soldier or a sword
Just wrestling with my brother around the tree

When I discovered whiskey
I solved the eggnog mystery
Hanging with my friends on Christmas Eve
Open presents in the morn'
Sipping hair of the dog
Thinking of my girlfriend back in college

If Jesus were alive today
I wonder who would notice
if he sat down at the bar right next to me
I'd offer him a beer
in the spirit of birthday cheer
then say "hey man, can you help me put that star up on that tree?"

Now I'm fully grown
I've got a family of my own
Socks and ties the only gifts for me
I put the carver down and say "hey kids gather round"
This is the only place we're meant to be!

When I am an old man
Lines cross my face and hands
My family scattered like pine needles at my feet
At this Christmas time of year
I know they'll be back hear
Sparkling like the lights that deck the streets

When my body's gone
I'm just gunmetal and silicon
Space and time won't hold a consciousness that's freed
as I travel through the stars
A reborn atheist god
Christmas will still come but once a year

I just believe

Watch out Mrs. Claus, I'm coming for you under the mistletoe

It ain't sacrilegious, I just believe

I got a bunch of friends getting Chinese food and going to the movies
```

My account, the credits and the lyrics are from the song’s page on my old Squarespace site. The exchange with the neighbors was Christmas Eve 2014, the session was August 2015, the release was December 2015.